I know I'm going to sound very stupid and naive about this but I really don't care. I hope you can spare about 5 minutes reading this.

Yesterday I uploaded a CG drawing as promised after a long time.
I also had posted it to my blog because I selfishly wanted more people to take notive on my art.
I asked for small criticism because I know I need the improvement.

After checking my email to see the replies come in, I eventually saw a long comment from someone I have heard from both DA and Livejournal. When I saw how long it was I laughed because I knew this person would actually come to comment on my journal (also the fanart I drew was also one of her favorite member from a Jpop boy-band).

I read it from start to finish and thought several times "Really? I thought it was okay without this" and such. I wanted to reply but I had to think about HOW to say it without implying I was upset (I wasn't really). I even talked to my best friend on the phone to decide how to reply to the comment, because I really don't like having to do these kinds of thing alone.

I finally replied after several hours (I also had other things to do so it took more time). I spoke my mind and tried to be as honest as I can without sounding whiny or anything. I was seeking advice.

I know she is a year and couple months older than me so I obviously took the advice (it would be rude to delete the comment or say "I'm already good enough").
She replied with another long comment (I don't blame this person; I left a long comment too). She apologized again for making long comments and hope I didn't take it too hard (I guess this person implied that).
I wanted to reply after reading it but I took a long time again, and ended up not replying.

When I was about to go to sleep later that night, I thought a whole lot about what she said and even thought about how much I try but I can't get more views from peers. I was, once again, being a bit selfish.
I thought so much that I cried because it was too much for me. I also cried from looking at photos from a film camera because almost all of them were gray because I didn't do a good job at taking pictures. That feeling came back.

But I realized many people probably are like me and can't seem to stay on a point of which they're satisfied. As artists, we crave for attention and improvement as well as the happiness from making a satisfied piece of artwork.

So here's my question (I really hope people will answer this):
Have you ever been criticized before? If so, how did you feel the first time and how did you feel after getting more?

Please think carefully and don't be afraid to take awhile.
If you think I'm being silly or immature then go ahead.
Also, some of my friends on DA don't know my real age, so if you really want to get an idea on what I'm thinking then go ahead and PM me asking some questions as well as my age if you want.

Speaking of friends, I notice many people who watch me sometimes don't make comments. I just want to say if you are going to watch me then please make comments whether or not you like what I have drawn. I just want opinions on what I do and want people to actually watch me because they like to talk to me as friends or like my art.
If you really don't say much to me anymore, then you may go ahead and no longer watch me. I really don't care anymore.

One last thing, please read this: link
It's about dA making club systems a priority. If you agree to this then you can follow a link to sign a petition. We need 3 million signatures.

I'm sorry for the long entry *bows* If you really want to read the blog with the comments then I can link you, but please don't bash the person that criticized me!! I asked for it so I got it. *bows again* If it’s not a problem, I want to ask people to post my question (in bold) to your journal for more opinions. You don’t have to but you can also link back to this entry as well.

On a happier note, I went to San Japan for one day and got a bunch of stuff I wish I could've tried harder to go more days.